If You Want to Get Laid, Stop Asking for Consent (Do This Instead)

We're living in time of unprecedented male loneliness. Dating apps aren't working, approaching women feels impossible, and the male loneliness epidemic keeps getting worse. On top of that, we’ve got blue-haired activists screeching "no means no" and making us feel like predators just for wanting to get laid. If you're like most men, just hearing the word “consent” probably makes you feel tense. You want sex, but you're worried about getting canceled or accused of assault. I get it, and I'm no stranger to that feeling. But I'm going to let you in on a secret that will transform the annoying word “consent” into your key to breaking free from loneliness and having more amazing sex than you ever imagined possible.

Maybe there’s a part of you that thinks about consent like a form someone should sign, saying that they agree to have sex with you, so they can’t accuse you of doing something non-consensual later. But at the same time, you know it feels super unsexy to ask something awkward like “Can I kiss you?” before going for it. And you’re not going to be that guy, because you know women like confident men who go for what they want without begging for permission.

Here's the problem: we've completely forgotten what the word consent actually means. We use it for things like legal documents, permission slips, and those annoying website popups asking you to "consent" to tracking cookies. All day long, we're bombarded with requests for permission that feel more like coercion than real choice. Think about it - did you actually want to share your data with that app? Did you feel good about "consenting" to being tracked across the internet? Or did you just click "accept" because you felt you had no choice?

Now ask yourself: Is that how you want someone to feel when they have sex with you? Like they didn't really want to, but technically gave permission because they felt like they had no other option? Not only is that a fast track to being accused or canceled - the very thing you fear - but it's also the opposite of what you actually want: passionate, mind-blowing sex with someone who's excited about being with you.

Here's the secret: the real meaning of consent isn't about punishing you for mistakes or making sex more complicated. The word "consent" comes from Latin roots: "con" (with/together) + "sentio" (feeling). It literally means "feeling together", and this "feeling-together consent" is actually the secret to better, hotter, and more frequent sex!

Feeling-together consent is a practice of slowing down, tuning in, paying attention, being present, and having a fun shared experience that leaves everyone looking forward to the next time. It’s not like the usual experience: get drunk, take someone home, smash genitals together, pass out, and wake up wondering “What the fuck happened last night?” and “Why is she mad at me?”.

I’m not saying that mistakes can’t happen with feeling-together consent. When you’re truly feeling together with someone, like jamming, dancing or playing games, there’s room to make mistakes, and that’s ok. This type of consent isn’t about punishment for mistakes, it’s about having an experience together that everyone is enjoying, and feeling connected. Isn’t that what you really want from sex anyway? To feel less lonely, to feel deeply connected?

Sure, you want the orgasms too - and there will be plenty of those. With the practice of feeling together, you can even learn to have multiple orgasms in a single session, full body orgasms, ejaculatory orgasms, non-ejaculatory orgasms, and more. I’m telling you men, you’ve been lied to. Consent isn’t some scary thing women are trying to use to cancel you. It’s literally the key to the sex life you’ve always dreamed of. But all of that starts with learning to slow down and feel together.

This practice, which leads to amazing sex, starts with learning to read your partner’s signals - both verbal and non-verbal. Want to be a sex god? This is where you start. And I’m not talking about being soft or even “nice.” Even the most dominant dom - especially the most dominant dom - needs to be a master of consent. Feeling when his partner wants to go forward or slow down, paying attention to how they respond to his touch, his words, his energy. A dominant man knows at all times exactly how his partner is feeling. He’s not intimidated by intense feelings. He’s confident and calm, because he practices the art of feeling-together consent daily. He’s in touch with his own feelings, and the feelings of his partner, and he’s a master at how to guide his partner into feeling incredible.

Practicing consent is about being present with your partner’s feelings at all times, holding space for them while respecting their boundaries so they can relax into their true desires. Boundaries aren’t about preventing you from getting what you want: they are the edges of the space that someone feels good in. When someone tells you “no”, it doesn’t just mean “no”, it means “I don’t feel good or safe beyond this point,” and that clarity prevents you from doing something they don’t feel good about. Thank your partners for the clarity. Even if it stings your ego a bit, it’s a good thing and deserves genuine gratitude! I’ll dig into that in a future post.

For now, here's what you need to know: the more you practice consent, the more you move from awkward guessing to confident knowing. It boosts your confidence to play this game more. And that confidence? That's fucking hot! Trust me, if you're practicing feeling together with her, her panties will be drenched before you even get close to them.

Now you're getting excited! But slow down, feeling-together consent isn't for the weak. It's not easy. It'll be awkward at first, and you're gonna make mistakes. It's also vulnerable because she might not want something you do, she might say no, your ego might get hurt, and you might feel rejected. Those are all feelings you're going to have to face when practicing feeling-together consent. You have to learn how to deal with that gracefully. I won't sugarcoat that, but I'll go more into that and how to deal with it in a future post.

The short version is, rejection stings, but you'll survive. When you get rejected, it's probably not about you. The person you're into is on their own journey, and letting you know. That clarity will keep you from wasting your time with someone who doesn't want the same thing you do, so you can focus on someone who does. It will also keep you from getting canceled by someone who doesn't feel good about what you did with them. A few hits to your ego is nothing compared to a lifetime of male loneliness, or being canceled because you didn't care about consent.

So what does this practice actually look like? It starts with the basics. First, you make eye contact and see if she reciprocates or looks away. Then, you say hello and notice if she's eager to engage or trying to end the interaction. If she doesn’t respond positively, it’s not something to take personally - it’s valuable information about how she's feeling in that moment. If she's responsive, maybe you offer your hand to hers, expressing your intention to engage. Pay attention to whether she welcomes the touch or pulls away. Each response is a signal to either move forward or slow down. And yes, start with her hand. It's a bold way to express your intention without jumping into intimate touch without consent!

This practice of feeling together continues through every stage of interaction, all the way up to sex. It's deeply sensual - you're using all your senses at their highest level. You're constantly tuning in to her energy, noticing her breathing, feeling the electricity between your bodies, watching how she responds to your presence, your touch, your words. You're creating a feedback loop of mutual awareness and response that's incredibly hot in itself. And when you're truly feeling together, you'll know exactly when to go further, when to slow down, and when to pull back. Don't be afraid to feel for both her yes and her no.

That's when sex becomes mind-blowing. Instead of awkwardly guessing or pushing forward hoping you won't get rejected, you're flowing together in perfect synchronization. You're reading her body's signals, feeling her desire build with yours, knowing exactly how to touch her to drive her wild because you've been paying attention to her responses all along. This level of awareness and connection is what opens the door to next-level possibilities that most men never get to experience.

When you master this, you unlock all sorts of things: getting laid with hotties you'd never imagined, endless nights of passionate sex, multiple orgasms (check out "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" by Mantak Chia), kinky adventures, BDSM, threesomes, orgies - yes, all of that is possible if it feels good to you. There's a whole world of sex-positive people out there, horny women who are just waiting for good men who they can share the best sex of their lives with. Seriously: women have an entire body part that's only purpose is sexual pleasure, and I guarantee you they love sex way more than men do. But the only way you're going to get to share that experience with them is if you learn the art of feeling-together consent.

As always, I'm here to help you have more and better sex! If you want that, subscribe for my future posts, leave a comment, or message me your thoughts about consent.